Impaled Face on Umbrella

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REVELER JESSICA WAS BROLLY UNLUCKY WHEN SHE FELL OFF A HOTEL BED – AND IMPALED HER FACE ON HER UMBRELLA.

 

THE TIP OF ONE OF THE METAL SPOKES RAMMED INTO HER NOSE AND PIERCED DOWN THROUGH HER GUM AND INTO HER MOUTH.

 

Impaled face on umbrella. Brolly goes up girl's nose

Impaled face on umbrella. Brolly goes up girl’s nose

As I checked into my hotel with my best friend Laura Sullivan , 22, I was so excited.

It had been months since me and Laura had a good old night on the tiles. So I’d come to visit her in Watford and we treated ourselves to an overnight stay so that we could really make the most of it.

‘I really need a good drink and a dance’, Laura said as we were handed our room keys.

It had been pouring down all day, so the first thing I did when we got to the room was take of my soaking coat.

Casually, I collapsed my dripping umbrella, chucked it on the floor and thought no more about it.

Laura and I chatted excitedly as we picked out our outfits and laid out our make up.

We’ve been best buds for years and whenever we hit the town it’s guaranteed to be a wild one.

A couple of hours later we were dressed to the nines and sipping our first cocktails in a nearby bar.

Before long, the wine was flowing and the music was pumping.

‘I love you so much’, I slurred to Laura as I ordered us another round.

We couldn’t wipe the smiles off our faces as we danced the night away and forgot about all of our troubles.

Before we knew it, it was half two in the morning and we were stumbling out of a nightclub arm-in-arm and giggling like schoolgirls.

It was still pouring with rain so rather than head for the kebab shop as usual, we hailed a taxi and headed back to the hotel.

By this point, we were both a little worse for wear.

‘Good night, babe’, I mumbled to Laura who had already fallen into one of the hotel room’s two beds.

She groaned something back and I decided to head for the hay myself.

With my eyes already half closed, I kicked off my heels and collapsed on to the other bed.

But instead of cosying up with the duvet, I slipped straight off on to the floor.

Suddenly, I felt something sharp in my face.

When I looked at my hands, they were covered in blood.

‘Laura, I’m bleeding!’, I cried.

She leapt out of bed and ran round to where I was lying on the floor.

‘Move the brolly out the way then, so I can have a look’, she said calmly.

But we couldn’t move it. It was stuck.

It was then that Laura turned the light on and saw the horror that had happened.

‘Oh my god! There’s a brolly coming out of your face!’, she screamed.

I’d fallen straight off the bed and face-planted the brolly I’d thrown on the floor hours earlier.

The spike of the umbrella had gone straight through my top lip and through my gum. It was practically up my nose and was nearly touching my eye.

‘I’m calling an ambulance!’ Laura cried as she dialled 999.

I started to panic. I was still drunk enough that I wasn’t in that much pain, but I was sobering up fast.

Within minutes the ambulance crew had arrived.

With the brolly still hanging out of my face, I was taken straight to Watford General Hospital for emergency treatment.

As Laura and I sat in the waiting room, the booze started to wear off and an agonising pain began to sweep over me.

‘Can I get you anything, babe?’ Laura kept asking.

‘I just want my mummy’, I cried. Laura agreed to ring her and explain what had happened.

When the doctors saw me, they couldn’t believe their eyes.

‘We can cut the main part of the umbrella off, but you’ll have to be transferred to Harrow for special face surgery. You might need a nose job’, one of them said.

I was more scared than ever, but I had no choice but to go along with it.

With the spike still sticking out of the middle of my face, I was taken into surgery where it took specialists an hour and a half to remove it and stitch me up.

When I finally came round, I felt worse than ever.

‘This is the hangover from hell’, I mumbled to Laura, who had stayed by my side through the whole thing.

Once the spike was out my face started to swell, and that’s what caused the most pain.

I felt so terrible that the doctors were worried and I was kept in overnight.

I took a week off work and went to stay with my parents to recover.

Once the painkillers kicked in, I was able to see the funny side.

I’ve got a bit of a reputation for being really clumsy and I’m always falling over.

‘It could only happen to you, couldn’t it?’ was the first thing my mum *** said when she saw me.

I went back to the hospital a few weeks later and the surgeon warned me to be more careful in future.

‘You were really lucky. If the spike had entered an inch or so higher it could have blinded you or even killed you or left you needing serious plastic surgery’, he said.

I suddenly realised what a lucky escape I had.

A few days later, I was back out on the town with Laura in Watford.

We booked a different hotel though – I feel like the other one was cursed!

We still had an amazing night, but I made sure there were no sharp objects around me bed before I went to sleep!

I’ll always be a party girl, but I won’t be throwing any umbrellas around any time soon.

Laura says: ‘After getting into bed, I heard a bang and though that, as usual, Jess had just fallen over.

‘When she said she was bleeding I got a bit worried and went to help her.

‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw the brolly sticking out of her face. It was terrifying.

‘At the hospital I asked the nurse if she would be OK. The nurse said she wasn’t sure, and that was when I started to really panic.

‘Waiting for her to come out of surgery was really nerve-wracking.

‘But after realising she would be OK, we managed to see the funny side of it.

‘I was worried it would put her off coming out again, but it hasn’t fazed her at all.

‘I’m really glad to have my party buddy back.’

ENDS

Author: Matt Abbott
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